Here at Big Happy House, we are firm believers that “laughter really is the best medicine.” A good laugh shared between friends or loved ones can go a long way towards turning a bad day around in the other direction.
Plus, a child’s laugh is pretty infectious, and lucky for you, you don’t even have to be all that funny to get your kids laughing. Even the silliest, most groan-worthy jokes will usually do the trick with your little ones.
Let’s check out some of the very best ones.
Best & Funniest Jokes For Kids of All Ages!
Silly Jokes For Little Kids (2 – 8 Years)
These are some of the best jokes we were able to find or come up with for little kids (ages two to eight). For kids at this age, jokes should be short, straightforward and easy to understand.
Kids this young aren’t looking for sophisticated humor, and they certainly won’t understand sarcasm. They like short, simple jokes to which they can grasp the punchline without too much trouble.
The subject matter for these jokes should be stuff they can relate to easily. Little kids are learning to count, say their ABC’s, spell and cultivate basic knowledge of the world. Successful “little kid” jokes will take these things into account.
A child who’s just beginning to grasp her numbers will be delighted by the “Because seven eight nine” punchline of the “Why is six afraid of seven?” joke. However, a joke about pi or the square roots of things is going to go right over their heads.
Other popular joke topics include animals, food, body humor, colors, superheroes and cartoons they enjoy, common occupations (doctor, cop, firefighter, teacher) and sports and games
They may also enjoy simple puns, but puns using long words and obscure references or synonyms won’t likely be understood.
What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
Why do lions eat raw meat?
Because they never learned to cook
What do lazy dogs do for fun?
Chase parked cars
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9 (7 ate 9)
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.
Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because her parents were in a jam.
What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut!
What do you call two birds in love?
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.
What did the nose say to the finger?
Quit picking on me!
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?
It could crack up.
What kind of shoes do private spys wear?
Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They’re too cheesy.
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back.
Why didn’t the lamp sink?
It was too light.
Where do cows go on December 31st?
A moo year’s eve party.
Why can’t you trust zookeepers?
They love cheetahs.
Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Where do cows go for entertainment?
Why couldn’t the duck pay for dinner?
Her bill was too big.
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
What did the mother elephant say to her kids when they weren’t behaving?
Why were bikes suspended from school?
They spoke too much.
What kind of music do balloons hate?
What time is it when a ball goes through the window?
Time to get a new window.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look. I’m about to change.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
What did the broccoli say to the celery?
Quit stalking me.
What do you call a fly without wings?
What kind of bug is in the FBI?
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a short cut.
What do you call a cow that can’t moo?
A milk dud.
What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
What’s the best thing to put into a pie?
What room doesn’t have doors?
Where does Superman’s wife drive?
Where do horses live?
What do you get when you put cheese next to some ducks?
Cheese and quakers.
What do you call a tired pea?
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Why should you never trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
How do you throw a space party?
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
A gold fish.
What’s scarier than a monster?
Why did the garden feel overcrowded?
There wasn’t mushroom.
What is brown and sticky?
What’s Superman’s favorite drink?
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
Which hand is better to paint with?
Neither! A paint brush is better.
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
What happened when the shark got famous?
He became a starfish.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel!
What do knights do when they are scared of the dark?
They turn on the knight light!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
What can smell without a noise?
What did the duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What time do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself?
Because it’s two-tired!
What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
What do cats wear to bed?
What did the dog say to the sandpaper?
What do you call a dog in the winter?
A chili dog!
What is the dog’s favorite button on a remote?
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
You can step in a poodle.
What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Why are cats so good at video games?
Because they have nine lives.
Why is a leopard so bad at hiding?
Because he’s always spotted.
What’s a cat’s favorite song?
Three Blind Mice.
What did one shooting star say to the other?
Pleased to meteor.
What did Venus say to Saturn?
Give me a ring sometime!
Why did the superhero flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
How do you get a tissue to dance?
You put a little boogie into it.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
What did one firefly say to the other?
You glow, girl!
Why couldn’t the pony sing?
Because she was a little hoarse.
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
Where does the chicken like to eat?
At a rooster-ant!
Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a water-melon.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumb-y.
Why did the banana go to the hospital?
He was peeling really bad.
Where do hamburgers go to dance?
They go to the meat-ball.
How does the ocean say hello?
What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school?
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school?
Time to run!
Why did the dog do so well in school?
Because he was the teacher’s pet!
Why did the egg get thrown out of class?
Because he kept telling yolks!
What animal can you always find at a baseball game?
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet.
What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?
Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
What happened when the skunk was on trial?
The judge declared, “Odor in the court, odor in the court!”
What do you call a sleeping bull?
What kind of haircuts to bees get?
What do you get if you cross a pie and a snake?
Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks!
Why isn’t there a clock in the library?
Because it tocks too much.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it!
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
How do they answer the phone at the paint store?
How do you stop a bull from charging?
You unplug it!
How do cats bake cake?
How do you fix a broken tomato?
With a can of tomato paste.
What do you call a rabbit with lice?
Where does a rat go when it has a toothache?
To the rodentist.
What does an alien do when it is bored in school?
What kind of key opens a banana?
Two monkeys were fighting over a banana. What happened?
What is a tree’s favorite beverage?
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school!
What kind of tree can you carry in your hand?
A palm tree
What can make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles (tentacles)
Where do cows go for their holidays?
Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?
He wanted to visit Pluto.
What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
I ‘m stuck on you
Why was the belt arrested?
For holding up the pants
Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?
Because they hog the ball
In which month do monkeys play baseball?
Why didn’t the hot dog star in the movies?
The roll was not good enough.
Why did the bumble bee put honey under his pillow?
He wanted to have sweet dreams.
Who can jump higher than a skyscraper?
Anyone! Skyscrapers can’t jump.
Why are giraffes’ necks so long?
Because they have really smelly feet!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Why didn’t the teddy bear want dessert?
Because he was so stuffed already!
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9!
What do you call a dog that goes to the beach in the summer?
A hot dog!
What do you call the horse that lives next door?
Where do you learn how to make ice cream?
Funny Jokes For Older Kids (9 and up)
For older kids (ages 9 and up), you can add in a little more sophistication. Jokes that require a lot of philosophical or scientific thought are still out of their range, however.
Big kids can still have a lot of fun with “little kid” jokes, but you can also add in more mature puns, some clean limericks, and jokes that have more obscure references (such as jokes about limestone and geologists as opposed to fire and firemen).
Jokes whose punchlines rely on creative wordplay and synonyms may also be appropriate for older kids, as long as they aren’t too hard to understand.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me!
What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
That hit the spot!
What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite!
What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A wise quacker.
Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
How does a scientist freshen her breath?
How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night!
What do you call a dog magician?
Where do pencils go on vacation?
Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse.
What kind of award did the dentist receive?
A little plaque.
What part of your body can cause the end of the world?
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their buttquacks.
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tunafish.
What kind of nut doesn’t like money?
Why is it so windy inside a stadium?
There are hundreds of fans.
Do you know how many famous men and women were born on your birthday?
None, only babies.
What did the sink say to the potty?
You look flushed!
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod.
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast.
Why do bowling pins have such a hard life?
They’re always getting knocked down.
Why are penguins socially awkward?
Because they can’t break the ice.
Why can’t the music teacher start his car?
His keys are on the piano.
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
The same middle name.
What do cows read?
Why are spiders great web developers?
They like finding bugs.
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
He was outstanding in his field.
Why was SpongeBob always praying?
He’s so hole-y.
Why do computers never fall asleep?
They’re too wired.
Why did the florist give so many kisses?
She had two-lips.
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space.
What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
This tastes a little funny.
Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?
Because it was cultured.
What do you call a student who doesn’t like math class?
What do piggies use when they have an infection?
Why was the cookie sad?
Because him mom was a wafer so long.
What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?
What do you call a fake noodle?
What state has a lot of dogs and cats?
If athletes get athletes foot then what do astronauts get?
What should you do when you see a green alien?
Wait until it’s ripe!
How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
When it’s full!
Why did the policeman go to the baseball game?
He’d heard that someone had stolen a base!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
What did the astronaut say when he crashed into the moon?
Why didn’t the orange win the race?
It ran out of juice.
What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand?
Do these genes make my butt look big?
Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
How do pickles enjoy a day out?
They relish it.
Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie.
Why did the cabbage win the race?
Because it was a-head.
What does an evil hen lay?
What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
What does bread do on vacation?
Why was the broom running late?
What part of the fish weighs the most?
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her students were so bright.
Where do sheep go on vacation?
What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y.
What did the paper say to the pencil?
What does a storm cloud wear?
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job?
They said she was over-koala-fied.
Who was that owl who did all the tricks?
What did the lunchbox say to the banana?
You really have appeal.
What did the mouse say to the keyboard?
You’re my type!
What did the science book say to the math book?
Wow, you’ve got problems.
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
To make up for his miserable summer.
Why did the woman become an archeologist?
Because her career was in ruins.
What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?
A roamin’ Catholic.
What do you call babies in the army?
What did the egg say when it was late for breakfast?
I have to scramble!
How do you stop a bull from charging?
You take away it’s credit card!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
What do you do when an astronaut’s wife is upset?
Give her some space.
What did Mama cow say to Baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime.
What’s black and white and blue?
A sad zebra.
How should you satisfy your sweet tooth when it’s way after bedtime?
Why do bees hum?
Because they do not know the words
What do you call a fairy that has not taken a bath?
What does an invisible man drink at snack time?
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
Long time, no sea
Why do dragons sleep all day?
They like to hunt knights.
Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.
How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
That’s All Folks!
Hopefully you were able to find some great jokes to share with your kids, no matter their ages. Just remember when you’re telling jokes with your kids to keep it simple.
Don’t try to get too complicated or cerebral with them. You may think your kids are amazingly brilliant – and they probably are! – but they’re still kids, and kids can’t comprehend what they don’t know.
Also, encourage them to make their own jokes, and be sure to laugh when they do! They may not always knock it out of the park with their jokes, especially if they’re very young children, but it’s important that you encourage their creativity and reward their efforts with a good chuckle.
Some of the best memories you’ll have of your children when they’re grown were times when you were smiling and laughing together. Those moments fly by so fast. We hope our little list helped you cultivate a few more of them for yourself and your children.
Thanks so much for letting us be a part of that.