Funny Camping Jokes
How do trees access the internet?
They log in.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line
At the camping site, what did the lake say to the sailboat?
Nothing it just waved.
If you’re in the woods, how can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?
By its bark.
What did the pine trees wear to the lake?
What camping destination makes a pet bird sing for joy?
The Canary Islands!
What did the beaver say to the tree?
“It’s been nice gnawing you!
What did the polar bears say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
What do you call a bunch of crows out for camping?
Murder within tent
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a group a grizzlies cracking up together?
A Bear-el of laughs!
What is a tree’s favorite drink?
Where does a camper keep his money?
In the River Bank!
What’s another name for a sleeping bag?
A nap sack.
When’s the only time and place most teens go camping?
In front of Best Buy the day before the release of the new Call of Duty!
Where did the sheep go to camping?
Why did the robot go on camping?
He needed to recharge his batteries.
Why are hiking shops so diverse?
Because they employ people from all walks of life.
Why are people who go camping on April 1 always tired?
Because they just finished a 31 day March!
Why did the camp warden quit his job?
Because it was always in tents.
Why didn’t the elephant carry a suitcase on his RV trip?
Because he already had a trunk!
Why do trees have so many friends?
They branch out.
Why don’t mummies go on camping?
They’re afraid to relax and unwind!
You can’t run through a campsite. You can only ran… Why?
Because it’s past tents.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the lake’s bottom.
Why does Humpty Dumpty like camping in autumn?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall…
When can kids jump higher than their camping tent?
Always, tents can’t jump!
Why did the camp counselors wear sunglasses?
Because their campers were so bright.
What do bears call campers in their sleeping bags?
Did you hear the one about the skunk and it’s camping trip?
Eh, never mind, it really stinks…
Where do sharks go camping?
Why didn’t the elephant take a suitcase on his camping trip?
He already had a trunk.
Why don’t mummies go camping?
It gets too relaxing, they might unwind!
Why didn’t the bike go camping?
It was 2 tired.
Which Island off the coast of Africa does Dale Ernhart Jr. like to camp on?
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear camping during the summer?
Open Toad Shoes.
If you have 3 sleeping bags in one hand and 3 sleeping bags in the other, what do you have?
Pretty big hands!
What is a masquito’s favorite sport?
What did the father say to the son who kept dropping losing his marshmallows into the campfire?
Stick with it!
What day of the week is best for camping at the beach?
Where does a sheep family go camping?
What do trees always remember when camping at the lake?
Their swing trunks.
Where do cows go camping?
Upstate Moo York
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What’s green and goes to a summer camp?
A Brussels Scouts.
Camping One Liners
- A bear walks into a restaurant and says, “I’d like a water ……………. and some of those peanuts.” The server says says, “Sure, but why the big paws?”
- Did you hear about the lawyer that got lost on a camping trip with one of his clients? He was found with criminal in-tent.
- Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
- I slept like a log last night. I woke up on the campfire…
- I wasn’t sure about camping but a guy roped me into it.
- I went to buy a camouflage tent the other day. I couldn’t find any.
- I’ve always wanted to try camping. But I’ve heard it’s really in tents.
- If you ever get cold while camping, just stand in the corner of a tent for a while. They’re normally around 90 degrees.
- It only costs a few bucks to get into our local aquarium if you’re camping nearby or dressed as a dolphin. Yup, for all in tents and porpoises, it’s free!
- Smokers are great people to go camping with. You can easily outrun them if a Bear attacks.
- An adventurer was paddling on a river in winter. Feeling cold, he lit a fire in his boat, only to discover that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too…
- I asked my llama if his cousin wanted to go camping. Thrilled, he ran off screaming, “Alpaca tent!”.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping in the woods? It’s okay. He woke up.
- The guitar of the noisy teenagers at the next campsite over makes great kindling for your fire.
- After lunch, my spouse asked me to clear the picnic table. I needed a running start, but I made it!
- Never hike alone in bear country – hike with someone you can easily outrun!
RV There Yet?
Funny Camping Stories
A young child goes camping with his father for the first time in the woods. Once camp is set up the young child asks his dad where the toilet is.
“That’s the beauty of camping son, when you are in the great outdoors, you can go to the bathroom wherever you want!”
After a few minutes the young boy came back and sat by his father at the campfire.
“So, where did you decide was best to use the toilet?” Asked the father.
“In your tent” the boy replied.
Two hikers making their way through bear country come around a corner to spot their worst fear: a grizzly. Without pausing a fraction of a second, one of the hikers takes off running, prompting the bear to charge.
Forced into action, the second hiker turns and sprints after the first.
“What were you thinking?” he shouts. “You’re not supposed to run in a situation like this. You can’t outrun a bear!”
“I don’t have to outrun the bear,” his friend shouts back over his shoulder. “I just have to outrun you.”
A young camper is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks him, “What are you doing in there?”
The camper says, “I’m washing my clothes.”
The man asks, “Why don’t you wash your clothes in a washing machine?”
The camper replied, “I tried that, but I got too dizzy.”
Teacher: “If I handed you 2 tents and another 2 tents and another 2, how many tents would you have?”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many tents would you have?”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I handed you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many apples would you have?”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “Johnny, I give up, how do you keep getting seven?”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already own a tent!”
A father and son were sitting around a campfire one night, “Dad, are bugs okay to eat?”
“That’s gross son. Try not to talk about things like that while we eat,” the dad says.
They finished eating their supper and the father asks, “Now, son, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a huge bug in your soup, but it’s gone now.”