Disney Princess Jokes
Why would you not want to be one of Snow White’s dwarfs?
6 out of 7 of them aren’t Happy.
When Rapunzel emerges from the dark, what does she say?
And at last I see the light!
What’s a bee’s favorite Disney movie?
Beauty And The Bees.
Why is Gaston the most peaceful Disney villain?
Because he won the No-Belle Prize.
Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball and her coach is a pumpkin.
Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go!
Why does Alice ask so many questions?
Because she’s in Wonderland.
Why did Sleepy go to bed in the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper.
What does Ariel like to put on her toast?
Which Disney Princess is a cow’s favorite?
What kind of blush does Mulan wear?
Which princess makes the best corny Disney jokes?
Jasmine tried to attend a “Disney Prince Only” gathering
She wasn’t Aladdin.
What does the town sing when the Beast and Belle break-up?
Single Belle, Single Belle, single all the way!
Why did Dopey take a box of crayons with him into the bedroom?
Snow White asked him to draw the curtains.
Which Disney princess would make the best judge?
Snow White, because she’s the fairest of them all!
What did Snow White say when her photos weren’t ready yet?
Someday my prints will come!
Where does Ariel go when one of her friends is missing?
The Lost-and-Flounder Department.
Why was the wrong Disney Princess arrested?
The police thought she was someone Elsa…
Who won the race of princesses?
Rapunzel, By a hair!
Disney are planning to release a version of Tangled that has an alternative ending where Rapunzel’s hair isn’t chopped off. It’s going to be called ‘The Uncut Edition’.
Jokes About Mickey Mouse & His Classic Disney Friends
What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?
A Minnie van
What does Mickey use to browse the web?
An iPad Minnie.
When does Donald Duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
Why did Mickey Mouse get hit with a snowball?
Because Donald ducked.
Why did Goofy stare at the label on the orange juice all day?
Because the carton said concentrate!
Who does Mickey say is his favorite pop star?
How cold was it at Disney World?
Donald Duck was wearing pants!
Why did Goofy wear two pairs of pants when he played golf?
He heard he might get a hole in one!
Why did Mickey Mouse cross the road?
He was going on a Minnie vacation.
Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
So he could visit Pluto!
What does Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse when he’s listening?
I’m all ears.
How did Mickey feel the first time she saw Minnie Mouse?
It was glove at first sight!
What’s Mickey’s favourite sweet treat?
What is Mickey Mouse’s favorite sport?
What is Clarabelle’s favorite party game?
How did Minnie save Mickey from drowning?
Mouse to mouse resuscitation.
How does Mickey feel when Minnie is mad at him?
What does Daisy Duck say when she buys lipstick?
Put it on my bill!
When I went to the doctor, I said, “Doctor, every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.” He replied, “How long have you been getting these Disney spells?”
Peter Pan Jokes
What Disney character would you ask to fix something?
Where does Captain Hook go to get his hook replaced?
The second-hand store!
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Never-lands.
What did Captain Hook’s sidekick say to Adele?
Hello, it’s Smee!
What kind of fairy doesn’t take a bath?
What’s Peter Pan’s favorite restaurant?
Captain Hook is single-handedly the best Disney villain.
Toy Story Jokes
What did Woody say to the pencil?
What music does Buzz Lightyear like best?
Which chocolate bars does Buzz Lightyear like the most?
Mars Bars and Milky Ways.
Which Disney character is able to count the highest?
Buzz Lightyear – he can count to infinity and beyond.
Why does Jessie say she’s undefeated at darts?
Because she always gets Bullseye!
What Disney character can count the highest?
Buzz Lightyear, to infinity and beyond.
What does Buzz Lightyear like to read?
Why did Woody give Bullseye some cough syrup?
Because he was horse!
Jokes About Other Disney Characters
Why doesn’t Eeyore have any friends?
Because he plays with Pooh all day.
Why did Arlo help Spot cross the road?
Because he was “The Good Dinosaur”.
What’s the Cheshire Cat’s favorite drink?
Why is Quasimodo great at solving crimes?
He always has a hunch!
What happens when Olaf throws a temper tantrum?
He has a meltdown.
What does Winnie the Pooh call his girlfriend?
What does Olaf eat for lunch?
Why did the pride go to Simba’s naming ceremony?
It was the mane event.
What is Tarzan’s favorite Christmas Carol?
What do you say to Simba when he’s moving too slowly?
What is Grumpy’s favorite fruit?
What did the 101 Dalmatians say after eating dinner?
That hit the spot.
What do you get when you cross Pooh and a skunk?
Winnie the P.U.
Why did Jack Sparrow take his mother to the movie theater with him?
Because the movie was rated “arrrrgh.”
What is Captain Jack Sparrow’s favorite restaurant?
How much did it cost Captain Jack Sparrow to have his ears pierced?
A buck an ear.